in London, 1989
WORDS OF ADVICE FOR YOUNG PEOPLE
People often ask me if I have any words of advice for young people. Well, here are a few simple admonitions for young and old.
Never interfere in a boy and girl fight.
Beware of whores who say they don’t want money. The hell they don’t. What they mean is they want more money. Much more.
If you’re doing business with a religious son of a bitch, get it in writing. His word isn’t worth shit, not with the good Lord telling him how to fuck you on the deal.
Avoid fuckups. You all know the type. Anything they have anything to do with, no matter how good it sounds, turns into a disaster.
Do not offer sympathy to the mentally ill. Tell them firmly, “I am not paid to listen to this drivel. You are a terminal fool.”
Now some of you may encounter the devil’s bargain if you get that far. Any old soul is worth saving at least to a priest, but not every soul is worth buying. So you can take the offer as a compliment. They charge the easy ones first, you know, like money, all the money there is. But who wants to be the richest guy in some cemetery? Not much to spend it on, eh, Gramps? Getting too old to cut the mustard. Have you forgotten something, Gramps? In order to feel something, you have to be there. You have to be 18. You’re not 18, you are 78. Old fool sold his soul for a strap-on.
How about an honorable bargain? “You always wanted to become a doctor. Now’s your chance. Why, you could have become a great healer and benefit humanity. What’s wrong with that?” Just about everything. There are no honorable bargains involving exchange of qualitative merchandise like souls. Just quantitative merchandise like time and money. So piss off, Satan, and don’t take me for dumber than I look. As an old junk pusher told me, “Watch whose money you pick up.”
William S. Burroughs
There is nothing more provocative than minding your own business.
“ Pleasure only starts once the worm has got into the fruit, to become delightful happiness must be tainted with poison.
— Georges Bataille.
“ Sex without religion is like cooking an egg without salt. Sin gives more chances to desire
— Luis Buñuel
“ Art is the most intense mode of individualism that the world has known.
— Oscar Wilde
“ I have cultivated my hysteria with pleasure and terror.
— Charles Baudelaire.
“ A cat’s rage is beautiful, burning with pure cat flame, all its hair standing up and crackling blue sparks, eyes blazing and sputtering.
— William S. Burroughs.
“ You’ve never seen death? Look in the mirror every day and you will see it like bees working in a glass hive.
— Jean Cocteau.
“ Here I am trying to live, or rather, I am trying to teach the death within me how to live.
— Jean Cocteau.
“ Dreams have only one owner at a time. That’s why dreamers are lonely.
— Erma Bombeck
“ The death of a beautiful woman, is unquestionably the most poetical topic in the world.
— Edgar Allan Poe